AC#E Voice Studio

Egbd F., lead teacher

Mission Statement

This studio will serve all members pie and ice cream every sixth Tuesday of the month.
Egbd F.
Egbd F.
What to Expect
in a Lesson

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    About the Teacher

      I was born quite young. Became a prodigy soon after. Studied with Porpora, Lamperti and Caruso. Graduated valedictorian of Cricothyroid U. Have sung lyric coloratura bass roles at the Met, La Scala and Reunion Arena. My specialties are rap and hip hop coaching and heavy metal recycling. I prefer teaching professionals, but will work with anyone who pays cash.

    Studio Policies

    • Always address the teacher as "O Great and Learned One."
    • No smoking during the lesson.
    • Emergencies must be planned three days prior.
    • Payment expected on the first of the month. Six months in advance.
    • If you miss a lesson, pay me anyway and your next lesson costs double (for my pain and suffering.)
    • If I miss your lesson, pay me anyway as you sympathetically pat my back and we'll call it even.
    • Do NOT wear perfume.
    • DO wear deodorant.

    Contact Information

      AC#E Studio
      1235 Supertramp Ct.
      Broadway, Texas 78910

      FAX: 123.456-1098

      Driving directions: Take a left past the old church and go about five miles until you see the crooked tree. Studio will be on your right under the bright orange awning.

    What to Expect in a Lesson

    • Lots of harumphing, guffawing and finger pointing
    • Exercises until you're sweaty
    • Deep heavy breathing
    • Visits from Alexander, the technique guy
    • Stage deportment store instruction
    • Advice on your personal problems

    Recommended Repertoire Collections

    • Twenty-Four Basso Profundo Arias and Growls
        G. Schirmer, Inc. $25

    • The First Book of Counter-Contralto Solos
        Hal Leonard Publishing $25

    • Anthology of Folk, Funk and Opera Favorites
        Alfred Publishing $25

    Frequently Asked Questions

      Q. What is a FAQ?
        A. A list of Frequently-Asked Questions. And sometimes their answers.

      Q. What is the difference between a FAQ and a fach?
        A. A FAQ defines answers to informational holes; a fach divines probability of sensational roles.

      Q. Will I be a superstar?
        A. Instant karma's gonna get you. ... A superstar? Well right you are.

      Q. I learned to play the flute in two weeks. How long will it take me to learn to sing?
        A. That is a tough question. Depends what "is" is. The same time it takes to grow wise. Your mileage may vary.

      Q. Should I practice every day? How long? Ten minutes? Half an hour? An hour? More?
        A. Yes.

      Q. Can you help me win the contest?
        A. Of course -- the same way a starting gun helps a marathoner.

Web Design © 2000 Stan Yoder. All rights reserved.
Send comments or suggestions to Webmaster